Category Archives: humor

The Elevator

Yesterday I saw over at Metal Hygiene a classic prank from Allen Funt’s ‘Candid Camera’: the victims enter the elevator with three actors who employ unusual activities during the ride. It clearly illustrates the influence group behavior has on an individual, especially in tight spaces.

People aren’t so different from sheeps after all. This prank reminds me of something that happened to me a year ago or so, which I will call:

On My Way Up… I Think

Place: Building condo on my way to visit a friend
Date: Saturday afternoon
Time: 3 o’clock-ish

I enter the elevator lobby. A man comes in and faces the control panel. He pushes the button to his final destination, and says:

Rider: ‘Hello! How are ya?’
Me: ‘Oh. I’m fine, thanks… you?’
Rider: ‘Good, good. Where are you heading?’
Me: ‘Ninth floor, please. Thanks!’

The man doesn’t push the button, and mind you, the control panel is right in front of him. He then says:

Rider: ‘Ugh! I am exhausted! Lately I’ve been working seven days a week and over 12 hours each day. But I’m finally home now.’
Me: ‘Well, that’s good. Uh… are you going to push nine for me?’

He doesn’t move, but says:

Rider: ‘Oh! You’re with so-and-so? Say hello to her for me! On your way here, can you please bring us a bottle of wine and some capers? Yeah, man. See you in a bit!’.

He was talking to somebody else on his wireless headset all along and I didn’t notice because he was facing the wall. How embarrassing is that?!

Why Do You Fall So Weak And Slow?

Some of the spam email I get cracks me up. It’s not the content… I actually never open them. It’s more about the creative titles used in the subject lines. To give you an example, here’s a recent shot of my bulk mail folder:

Apparently spammers don’t know that I am a girl… and a straight one.

An Open Letter To That Turtle Crossing The Road

Dear Mr. Turtle,

What in the World is up with you trying to cross the road during rush hour?! Why would you attempt to cross a busy road slowly? You might need a watch or something to figure out your ETA… oh, that’s right! You guys don’t have watches, or wrists for that matter.

I remember one time in college where I had to stop the car, grab and help one of your friends (well, my ex-boyfriend did) to get to the other side of the road before he got killed. And let me tell you, you guys can fight back. That little guy didn’t want to go where is safe.

So yeah, like I said before, don’t try to cross the street during rush hour. Your speed blows! If you need to cross the road badly, wait for an off peak time like 3 am before a tropical storm warning or something. Remember you’re slow, so plan ahead. Also, don’t stop and turn into a ball to take a break when you’re half way across.

I am glad you crossed the road safely after all, but hopefully you’ll spread the word among your turtle friends.

Sincerely,

Jamie Awesome

Beached Whale

Very funny! I had to play this video a few times in a row.

[New Zealander’s and their messed up accent. No offense.]

What You Probably Didn’t Know About George Washington

The Name: Drunk History Vol. 3 – Featuring Danny McBride
The Concept: To get people really drunk and have them tell you what they know about history, then have the scenes being acted out hilariously by famous actors.
The Creator: Derek Waters
A note: If you don’t laugh, you’re made out of stone.

Happy Fourth Of July, Americans

(Click for bigness)

A Longer Car Pleases The Ladies

There’s something seriously wrong about this ad. I don’t know… you tell me.