An Open Letter To That Turtle Crossing The Road

Dear Mr. Turtle,

What in the World is up with you trying to cross the road during rush hour?! Why would you attempt to cross a busy road slowly? You might need a watch or something to figure out your ETA… oh, that’s right! You guys don’t have watches, or wrists for that matter.

I remember one time in college where I had to stop the car, grab and help one of your friends (well, my ex-boyfriend did) to get to the other side of the road before he got killed. And let me tell you, you guys can fight back. That little guy didn’t want to go where is safe.

So yeah, like I said before, don’t try to cross the street during rush hour. Your speed blows! If you need to cross the road badly, wait for an off peak time like 3 am before a tropical storm warning or something. Remember you’re slow, so plan ahead. Also, don’t stop and turn into a ball to take a break when you’re half way across.

I am glad you crossed the road safely after all, but hopefully you’ll spread the word among your turtle friends.


Jamie Awesome


One response to “An Open Letter To That Turtle Crossing The Road

  1. We all need a collect for the pompomist from all her readers, so as usual, we get the visual side of the news in real time and form!

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