‘We May Never Know’ Speculations

(Click image to read, unless you have, like, really good eyes)

I was watching a documentary about Nostradamus the other night, was it interesting? Oh, yes… and full of stupid “We May Never Know” historical information. The problem with the believers in Nostradamus is their inability to tell us what any of his quatrains mean BEFORE the fact. I actually found a couple of his quatrains.

So here… for the first time ever… (Drum roll please)… we can see his famous prophecies….. ahead of time!

Let’s do this thing:

After the files the ass-drivers burned,
They will be obliged to change diverse garbs:
Those of Saturn burned by the millers,
At Easter in the temple abysses opened

Come on people! This is obvious. “After the files the ass-drivers burned” = meaning how bad people drive in Florida. Continuing with, “they will be obliged to change diverse garbs” = after being stuck in traffic for hours, you’ll need to change your underwear. Then, “those of Saturn burned by the millers” = clearly refers to those Saturn drivers who were rapidly passed by a Lamborghini driven by the Millers. “At Easter in the temple abysses opened” which, as if I needed to tell you, it refers to Easter Sunday.

Let’s check another one, shall we?

From a saw to a house
in the time of reptile falling
a great shaking in the City
when torn from one to the next

This is loud and clear. “From a saw to a house” = means everything you need to own once you’re 30. “In the time of reptile falling” = obviously, the Florida Gators losing the 2008 season. HELLO!

Then, we have “a great shaking” clearly referring to earthquake prone CA or Chile. “…in the City, when torn from one to the next” which refers to the day that the writer’s strike started and we weren’t able to watch our favorite shows.

See? That was easy.


One response to “‘We May Never Know’ Speculations

  1. You are truly a great seer! The Oracle at Delphi has nothing on your prediction of a UF 08 season disaster. I stand in awe of your greatness.

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