Yes, folks. Is that time of the year, so consider yourselves warned! We are exactly one month until my birthday… again!
What a depressing thought. Twenty-nine. 2-9. Two-nine. Almost three decades old… three-tenths of a century old. What little coolness I have now will cease to exist.
But let’s put that aside for now. What I will get into now is possible birthday presents, so please work out among yourselves who’s getting what…
• A piece of chocolate cake. Like I said last year, I love cake and making wishes, but not the year. I mean, TWENTY NINE people!
• Phone calls, emails, regular mail, comments and/or a visit to congratulate me and to tell me how super-awesome I am (bring some Cuban coffee while you’re at it.)
• Birthday celebration at this place.
• Pizza at Andiamo
• A bottle of Killian’s / Bass or a Long Island at Frankie’s.
• Of course, there is one thing that I’ve been wanting for months and it is…… (Drum roll please)…… a pimpin’ ride.
I would like handlebar streamers, please. And one of those little metal license plates that says J. Awesome on it. And flowers on the basket please.
(You should be writing this down. Seriously.)
Now, Why I think I deserve presents? Well, aside from being your awesome friend, I’ve written a lot of stuff on here, bringing you quality entertainment for free at the risk of employment status, romantic prospects, and my health. But that’s about it. I recommend putting your loose change in a coffee can.
My birthday is Tuesday, July 29… and I approve this message…