An Short Open Letter To Telemarketers

Dear Telemarketers,

You know how I know it’s you? When you call between 7 and 8pm. Our conversations typically go like this:

Me: ‘Hello.’
You: No response (with audible call center conversations happening in the background)
Me: ‘Hello?’
You: (a five second pause) ….Yes, May I speak with Ms…
Me: Click!

I realize that for some inexplicable reason Wednesdays is one of your Big Days, but please stop calling. Please?

No love,

Jamie Awesome

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2 responses to “An Short Open Letter To Telemarketers

  1. Things to say to your telemarketer next time he calls:

    “M*****f*****, I thought I told you to stop calling here!”

    “Hey babe, I’m so glad you called. What are you wearing tonight….ohhhh that sounds SEXY!”

    “Yes, I’d love to hear about _____, but can you just hold on for one minute.” (You then proceed to leave your caller holding while you go about your evening).

    Cry pathetically & whimper, “You’re my only real friend, I love you man.” Then explain the myriad reasons why the two of you should be blood brothers.

    “Oh yea baby right there, oh yes, yes, YES.”

    “Mommy?”

  2. No doubt the pompomist open letters are controversial and are making history, Jamieland!

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