Beta Headache

Date: Saturday, March 8th
Place: Montreal International Airport
Time: 7:45pm

Headache: Hey, Jamie!
Me: OMG. Are you kidding me?
Headache: I don’t seem to understand what you mean.
Me: I mean, are you serious?… Right now?
Headache: Meaning what?
Me: Meaning that you’re uh… about to kill me?
Headache: Oh! You mean that? Oh yeah, I am totally serious…
Me: That’s not funny.
Headache: Girl, I’m a beta version of a new headache. By staying at the airport all day today, dealing with a snowstorm and having lack of sleep, you’ve just signed up for a free trial of my new and improved services… the same thing apply for a few of your co-workers.
Me: Well, I am not interested on a free trial. Thanks.
Headache: Too late.
Me: Oh, come on! I didn’t ask for this.
Headache: Hmm, I am assuming you’re having a severe pain right about………. Now!
Me: Gee, thanks…
Headache: Let’s see. It kinda feels like your head is a balloon that’s about to explode and on top of that you’re feeling tired and sleepy, but can’t sleep.
Me: You’re right.
Headache: Yep, is our new version of the classic headache with some add-ons. Is it effective?
Me: Well, now that my flight to Miami got cancelled after a 4 hour wait, and the entire airport shutting down, leading us to a one-mile-long cab line for the last hour or so. Now all of a sudden, while in line, a wave of pain comes to my head so intense that I cannot think straight. I guess you could consider it to be somewhat effective, don’t you think?
Headache: Perfect!
Me: You know what? I don’t want to talk to you.
Headache: Well, if you’re nice to me, I might be able to relax my grip a bit.
Me: I don’t know. I… I’ll think about it. Ugh. Is there a place to sit around here? My feet hurt so much…
Headache: Amazing, isn’t it?
Me: Yeah, you idiot, it’s incredible. Go ahead and give yourself a hug! Has anyone ever told you that you are annoying?
Headache: Please don’t talk to me like that. That is unprofessional.
Me: Ok, fine…. I cannot believe I have to go through all of this airport thing again tomorrow. I hope I wake up rested.
Headache: If I help you sleep at night…
Me: You know what? You’re a jackass.


4 responses to “Beta Headache

  1. and how about the throbbing feet?

  2. I know this guy, he came to my door the other day to offer this new improved model… And yes, there is no way, you’ve got to try it

  3. Girl…you have got some serious issues. I never knew you were doing that bad. I think you should go talk to a psychiatrist and tell them you’re talking and responding to you headache. I think they will perscribe you some really good s**t. If they don’t you tell them, “Muthaf**a, you best give me some of that stuff now!!!!

  4. that’s some creative writing

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